Romance: Torn - Contemporary Romance (Chasing Love Series, Romance, Contemporary Romance Book 2) Read online

  There was no harm in making a simple phone call, or an appointment. She was doing what every woman had the right and opportunity to do, right? All she needed was some information so that she could make an informed, educated decision. Heading back to her plush chair, Tina choked on a breath, coughing and sputtering as she picked up the phone receiver on her desk. She had to put it down, grabbing her chest until the coughs died down. Did she really just choke on air? Was that even possible?

  Tina shook her head, feel the temperature in the room begin to spike. Her head buzzed as she stared at the glaring white numbers from the webpage. I’m just getting some information, she told herself, fingers and breath shaking. She dialed the numbers slowly, her body beginning to shake the closer she got to pressing the last digit.

  There was barely a ring before a high pitch voice answered the line, “Good morning. Women’s clinic how may I help you?”

  Tina opened her mouth, but blanched instead. Dropping the phone, she reached for pail beneath her desk. It barely made it to her lap before her breakfast forced itself through her esophagus. Acid and bile slid over her tongue and out her mouth into the pail in bitter chucks of food she had previously eaten.

  Through the following heaves, Tina faintly heard the muffled questioning from the receiver. “Hello? Hello? Is anyone there?” With a limp hand, Tina replaced the receiver in between a heave. More food came up. It was several minutes more before her stomach stopped convulsing and she could breathe deeply enough to catch her breath.

  A skinny water bottle sat on her desk, two thirds already gone. Tina grabbed the bottle and finished the rest, trying to ease the scratchiness she felt on her tongue from the acid. She reached for the office phone again and without hesitation, pressed in a more familiar number.

  After several rings, Tina felt her chest begin to squeeze. The line clicked and Beth answered. “Calling from work? Everything okay?”

  “No!” Tina cried, instantly letting herself go. She cried into the receiver, attempting to relay through her tears what she had been feeling.

  “Tina,” Beth called her friend’s name warmly, attempting to calm her down. “Look, I’m near your building, was headed to the store to pick up some supplies. Meet me outside and we’ll talk when you’ve calmed down some, okay?” Tina agreed.

  ~*~

  Tina welcomed the burst of fresh breeze that hit her face as she stepped outside her building. Most days, she loved her view from the third floor of the office. The tall, wide windows made her feel as if she worked on top of the world, but today, it only helped to add to her discomfort. She didn’t feel so stuffy standing outside.

  It was only minutes until Tina spied Beth’s deep red Rover pulling into the parking lot. She waved with a wide grin, genuinely happy to see her friend’s face framed with her thick brown curls. She waited for Beth to approach her before she spread her hands out in a hug.

  Beth smirked. “You did just see me yesterday, Tina.”

  “I know,” Tina breathed, feeling her strength returning to her. “I know, girl, but,” with a deep inhale, she released her grip on Beth and stepped back. “I’m freaking out.”

  Her friend’s eyes looked over Tina’s face intently. “Okay. Talk to me.”

  Tina shrugged. “What am I going to do? I don’t want to be with John—I don’t even love him,” her voice was a tight strain.

  Beth nodded. “I hear you. So what about that other guy, Brett?”

  Tina sighed, and then shrugged her shoulders. “I haven’t spoken with him since before I found out on Monday.”

  Again, Beth offered a nod. After a moment, she asked, “Are you going to tell him?”

  Tina’s face cracked. Tears sprang into her burning eyes. “I can’t—he’ll leave—”

  “What do you mean you can’t?”

  Tina held her head in her hands. She wanted to pull her hair and pound at her face with closed fists. Exasperated, she stared at the concrete chasms beneath her feet. “I don’t want him to leave me.”

  “But you’re pregnant—”

  “I know,” Tina snapped, glaring at her friend suddenly. “Is that my fault?”

  Beth frowned. “Actually, yes,” her tone was harsh. “You can’t seriously be considering what I think you are.”

  Tina started to tremble. She thought Beth would understand—hoped her friend would see the reason. “I don’t know what to do,” Tina said, voice cracking this time. More tears began to fall; she couldn’t hold them back anymore.

  Instinctively, Beth drew her friend into her arms. She pulled Tina to the left side of the building and away from the glass double doors.

  “I couldn’t even talk to the receptionist without puking my guts out,” Tina moaned into her friend’s shoulder. Beth held her securely. She breathed deeply, rubbing Tina’s back.

  “You’re not thinking clearly,” Beth said softly. “Tina, you are freaking out about this and I think,” she pulled away, forcing Tina to meet her eyes, “I think you need to just think about it. Stop trying to,” her mouth moved without sound while she grasped for the right word to say, “Stop trying to fix what you think is a mistake.”

  Tina let out a raw, growl-like chuckle. “How is this not clearly a mistake? I don’t even remember having sex with that fool!” She swore, kicking the dust on the concrete. “And now I’m going to have his damn baby? What kind of twisted curse is this?”

  Beth held Tina’s shoulders, holding her gaze securely. “Tina, I don’t have all your answers but this isn’t just about you anymore and if you think that it is, you’re wrong. It’s not even about Brett, this isn’t his baby—” Beth paused, her voice softening, “This baby isn’t just yours either. Just think. Stop thinking about what you’re worried about and just think.”

  Tina shook her head. She didn’t want to think about the certain future of what would happen if she told Brett. She already knew.

  As if reading her thoughts, Beth continued, “If Brett does leave, Tina,” she waited until her friend met her eyes. “If Brett does leave, just let him go.” Tina frowned and looked away. “I know that’s not what you want to hear.”

  “You’re right about that,” Tina spat.

  “This isn’t about your happiness anymore, but about a life, Tina,” Beth said with passion, waiting for acknowledgement from Tina. All she received was a weak gaze. “An innocent life, Tina.”

  Looking away, Tina stepped back as Beth released her shoulders from her softening grasp. She knew Beth was right. The building pressure in her chest had released, only to be replaced by the growing burden of anger in her heart. It wasn’t fair—but she already knew life wasn’t.

  Tina: Spirited

  Chapter Six

  Back in her office, Tina felt she could breathe normally again. She tried to focus on work. She didn’t have the answers just yet, and maybe she didn’t need them. Right then, she just needed to clear her mind—and work was just the thing to take her mind from the drama and emotion of everything else.

  Tina took a moment to put her phone on silence. She expected that she would probably miss a few texts from Brett. For now, she was okay with that thought. She didn’t want to think about facing him any time too soon.

  Pouring over her case files, Tina started keying in the missing information from the computerized data, updating the files for her supervisor. She worked diligently for nearly two hours, stopping minimally for more water and short bathroom breaks.

  A few minutes after twelve, the office phone rang. Tina reached for it absently, pressing the receiver to her ear as she continued to type into the phone.

  “Christina Robbins,” she said flatly.

  “Good afternoon, Tina.”

  Tina’s heart froze. She would have recognized that incredibly smooth voice anywhere. “Brett,” she breathed in a strained whisper, “What are you—this is my office phone. Why didn’t you just call my cell?”

  On the other end, Brett chuckled. “I did.” Placing a hand to her forehead, Tina rememb
ered she had silenced it before she started her work. She caught a glimpse of the time in a short second, her mind racing. Brett cut through her thoughts. “Would you like to join me for lunch?” After a brief moment of silence, he tacked on, “I’ll buy.”

  Tina laughed; relief flooded her body when she heard his deep chuckle on the other end of the line. She could still count on him to make her laugh and smile. “I’d love to join you for lunch. My phone is on silent from an early meeting,” she lied. “How long?”

  “I’m ready right now.”

  Tina’s stomach tightened into several different knots. “You’re outside?”

  “No, silly. That’d be creepy. I can just come get you right now. Give me about ten minutes to get there?”

  Letting out a tuff of air, Tina’s tense body began to unwind. “That sounds great. It’ll give me just enough time to wrap things up. I could use your company.”

  ~*~

  Twelve minutes later found Tina tucked into the passenger seat of Brett’s charger. She rolled the window down and stared out aimlessly, her face fell with the sad realization that this would likely be her last time with Brett.

  Soft music played in the background, the soft voice of some male artist, but it still seemed like silence had surrounded them. If Tina had been with John, the silence would have been deafening, even with the softness of background music.

  With Brett, there was only warmth. They had sat in silence with each other on multiple occasions. It was something Tina had grown to love being in Brett’s presence.

  She didn’t know how she was going to tell him, but right then, she didn’t want to think about it. Staring out the window, Tina began to take notice of her surroundings. “Where are you taking me?” She asked.

  “I like eating outside,” Brett answered, “Is that okay? I thought we could eat at the downtown park,” Brett glanced in her direction. “Is that all right? I need sun on my face.”

  Tina smirked. “Well, if you need sun on your face,” she smiled brightly, turning to Brett. She didn’t mind taking longer to look at him, now that they had become somewhat more established. He was a beautiful man to look at, with just the right amount of a five o’ clock at all hours of the day.

  “I picked up some food from Applebee’s too,” Brett glanced towards her with an infectious grin that threatened to steal the life straight form her soul. “You like their salad bar, right?”

  Tina nodded. “I love their salad bar, but that’s not all you got, is it? I could eat a pig.”

  Brett frowned. “That’s disgusting. A full five-hundred pound one? It’ll probably make you sick.” Giggling, Tina pushed at his arm playfully. “Look, we can eat beneath the pavilion,” Brett pointed through the glass towards open space at the top of a hill.

  After they parked, Tina and Brett headed to the picnic table with the carryout bags from the restaurant. At the table, Tina busied herself with the salad Brett had purchased. She tossed the lettuce with the different vegetables and toppings.

  “This looks delicious,” she said absently, stabbing at a cube of ham. She popped it into her mouth in a flash, savoring the trace of salty cured ham on her tongue before she swallowed. Picking up a packet of dressing, she prepared to open it.

  Brett sat on top of the table top while Tina had slipped into the attached bench seat. Leaning back on the wooden surface, he watched Tina cover her salad in dressing. He waited for her to lift a bite to her mouth before speaking.

  “When do you plan to tell me what you’re so upset about?” Tina paused, fork suspended in the air just in front of her lips. She met Brett’s eyes.

  “Ever since your appointment yesterday you’ve been giving me almost one word replies to my texts,” Brett paused to take a breath, and then added with a sigh, “And since when have you silenced your phone?” He chuckled, “For a meeting,” he stressed the last word with another soft laugh as he looked over the surprise on her face.

  Tina lowered her fork, and then her gaze. Her mind was completely blank. She didn’t care that the silence between them had grown unbearable. With nothing to say, she simply kept her mouth shut. Looking at the prepared salad in front of her, Tina pushed it away, putting her elbows on the table instead.

  After a moment, Brett spoke, “How’d your appointment go?”

  With a breaking resolve, Tina looked to Brett. She couldn’t read his face; then again, she had never really been good at that sort of thing. She chuckled timidly. “I was really hungry,” she said with a thin voice. “You couldn’t have waited to ask me this until after I ate lunch?”

  Brett smiled at her kindly. He lowered himself onto the wooden bench, his legs facing out. Scooting across the wood, he leaned back with an elbow to look into Tina’s eyes.

  Hi eyes searched his face before he opened his mouth, “It wasn’t stress related, was it?”

  Tina shook her head; a tear escaped her eyes. She didn’t bother to try and blink it back or even wipe it away. Brett reached for her face with a steady hand, touching the streak of wetness with the worn pad of his thumb. Feeling the warmth from his skin on her flesh, Tina closed her eyes. Brett pushed past her cheek into her hair, letting his fingers run through the silky medium length strands.

  Brett moved his free hand over Tina’s palms. “How far along are you?”

  Opening her eyes, Tina stared at Brett’s hands. With hesitation, she met his gaze. “Three months.”

  “Wow,” he said softly.

  Tina smiled weakly. “I fainted at the office when they told me.”

  Brett strengthened his grip on her. “How are you today?”

  She shrugged. “How do you think?” Tina ran a hand through her hair, inhaling deeply. Her chest swelled, expanding with the air. “Terrible. Like this is some cruel joke in my life.”

  Brett nodded empathically. After a pause, he asked, “Does your husband know?”

  Swallowing with difficulty, Tina nodded. “I told him last night.” She looked down, noticing the deep grain and scratch marks along the surface of the picnic table. What would he think if he saw me last night, crying on the floor like a fool?

  Taking another deep breath, Tina straightened her aching back and faced Brett. “This is just not where I saw my life five years ago, you know?”

  Brett looked over her face silently before he nodded in agreement. “I felt like that multiple times in the past ten years,” Brett offered with a chuckle.

  Tina didn’t laugh. “But this is not how my life was supposed to go.”

  Brett extended a palm to Tina’s face, stroking her cheek again. He pulled his hand away after a moment before looking away.

  “Well, it’s going this way whether or not you want it to.” Turning back to her, Brett took her hands in his, bringing them down from the table to the space in between them. “Do you know what you’re going to do?”

  Tina shook her head. “Well, I guess I’m going to be a mom,” she frowned as she said the words.

  Brett chuckled at her. “That’s cool.”

  With her frown deepening, Tina raised an eyebrow. “Is it really?”

  Brett’s chuckle roared into laughter. He shook his head with a wide smile. “No, not really,” his laughter softened, fading away as he looked into Tina’s dim emerald eyes. “Are you going to be okay?”

  Tina shrugged her shoulders. “I guess I will be eventually,” she feigned a weak smile, her lips beginning to tremble. “So are we just going to go our separate ways?”

  Brett frowned. “Why would we do that?”

  Searching his eyes carefully, Tina replied, “Because I’m pregnant.”

  Taking a deep breath, Brett sniffed, nodding his head. “Yeah,” he turned to Tina, washing his eyes over her face, “that does complicate things a bit.” He moved his hands from Tina’s body, rubbing his palms together. “Then again, so does being married, doesn’t it?”

  Tina suppressed a smile. She shook her head in disbelief instead. She opened her mouth, struggling to form a thought. Brett
watched her intently. “I don’t believe you,” She finally managed.

  Brett blinked, confused. “Don’t believe what?”

  “I was ready to never see you again over a month ago,” she chuckled, “and then you found out I was married and you didn’t care.”

  “That’s not true,” Brett interjected.

  Pressing her lips together, Tina looked over Brett slowly. She stared at his hands, her sight traveling up the length of his torso until their gaze reconnected. “Are you even real?” She asked, squinting her eyes at him. “If I poke you will you evaporate into dust?”

  Brett shifted next to her. “Are you serious?” He chuckled awkwardly. “You think I’m some sort of dust pixie?”

  “Brett,” Tina turned to him squarely. “I’m a piece of drama. I’m not an idiot,” she stared him down. “Guys don’t do drama and I’m—” she looked away, her resolve cracking, “I’m a mess,” she looked towards Brett again. “My life is a mess right now.”

  Silence befell them. Tina bit her lip and looked away. She caught a glimpse of her salad, the dressing still coated the leaves of spinach and greens in a slimy film. A fly had landed in the middle of the meal. She didn’t even care. The sound of Brett’s voice called her back to the conversation.

  “So, are you trying to convince me that I should want to leave you alone, or is that what you want?”

  Tina’s eyes widened. “No no, I—” she paused, trying to gather her scrambled thoughts to form a complete sentence, “I want to be with you, Brett.” The words spilled out her mouth, at least she thought they did. She repeated herself, “With you. I don’t want this—didn’t,” she opened her mouth to say more, but Brett silenced her, lifting a hand to his mouth.

  “Okay, so you are still interested in a relationship with me—”